Online Friends

“Hi there I am Dancing Diva, I am new at this site, don’t really know what to write about myself, but message me and you can ask me anyfink… Mite fill this part in later, maybe.”

“Hi, I am Selby Online Schoolteacher. I love baking, cooking, walking and crocheting. Would love to chat with someone about anything other than work.”

“Hello, my name is Clever Connie. I love talk to deeply about philosophical matters and I am an avid reader. Message me if you are intelligent, funny and love talking about deep things.”

“I like metal and butterfly tattoos. I am a professor at the Very Clever People University.”

Do you recognize any of these? These have some similarities to profiles of people you might come across with the ‘Covid-way’ of making new friends. Yes, I have poked fun at my own profile too. Internet sites to connect people for dating have been around for years, but now there are so many to choose from to make friends as well. I really do like baking and crocheting and walking. Fair enough, I might have exaggerated the diverse way people like to introduce themselves, but that is the great thing that I discovered from signing up to two friendship sites. In the very first paragraph, you get to know a lot more about a person online, compared to if you met them face to face. Normally, to find out the age of a woman might take you weeks and weeks, now it is openly displayed with their profile picture. It is a whole different (qwerty) game…

That rush, when I open my notifications and see that someone has read my profile, or responded to one of my messages. The first thing that pops into my head is, ‘Why did they respond to my profile?’ There are many positives about writing a profile and introducing it to others. Firstly, I really got to think more deeply about myself filling all the different columns and paragraphs. What am I like, what do I like, what do I enjoy doing, what don’t I like? These questions are really simple questions, but that is how I learnt a lot more about myself without all the other complications of life of what others already think of me. I get to choose how I present myself to possible BFF’s.

This process of filling in a profile has also forced me to think about what makes me tick. And the funny thing is, there are so many other women in this world who has the same hobbies and interest as I. I use to think that I hated cooking and only liked baking, but as I started chatting online with other ladies, I realised that I like cooking more than I think. I don’t like the idea of cooking every day, but I do like the fact that I am able to provide for my family in such an important way. Now I am cooking with food I never even heard of! I make sure that I have Kale on every online shopping purchase order. A few months ago, I did not even know what it was. Do you know what it is?

The negative side for me about the online friend experience, is that there are some people who are meeting ‘friends’ so that they can introduce you to their pyramid scheme or business. By the time I discovered this, was when I already exchanged numbers. Friendship based on their desire to take my money (sad face).

Once I was pushed as far as reporting a person to the site master. I received messages from a person posing as a lovely lady with a bright smile who insisted in meeting me face to face during lockdown without telling me anything about herself and why she wanted to meet me. After that, for weeks I had thoughts about a sweaty man waiting behind a bushy tree to hit me over my head with a stick and run away with my lunch and my pay-as-you-go Oyster Travel Card with £10 on it. However, I did receive a thank you message from the website and a notification that he/she have been removed and blocked from the site. I was not the only person who reported this particular person. I might have saved someone’s life on this site!

Anyway, I have met several lovely ladies online. I have even exchanged my telephone number with two of them and had wonderful video chats. We had coffee together in our own living rooms, freshly applied lip-stick, and wore our comfy slippers. One of these ladies I will now even call a true friend. She is ten years older than me and lives miles and miles away from me, but we get along really well.

We are all so uniquely different, but yet we have a desire to find common ground and connect with others. You can be surrounded by people, and still feel alone…or you can be all alone in your flat and be surrounded by wonderful messages and thoughts from your online friends who make you feel connected, encouraged and excited to try something new.

When going online and registering to these friendship websites, never reveal personal details that you should only tell true friends, never feel pressurized to give your mobile number out. You can say simply say ‘no’ or stop responding to their messages. If people cannot respect these, then that should already be speaking volumes about them… Take care out there.

I would love to read about your online friendship experiences since the start of the pandemic.

If you ever find yourself in an online predicament, please don’t keep it to yourself. There are trained people who would know what to do. Here is a shout out for ‘The 2 Johns’. Their online safety knowledge, experience and training is excellent. https://esafetytraining.org

Isolated – But not Alone